Being permanently single makes only a few people happy. But it’s not always easy to find a new love. Here’s how to make it work

I’m sure you’ll agree that single life has some advantages. You can (theoretically) do whatever you want, you’re ready for any outrage, you have time to cultivate friendships, and you’re constantly meeting new people. But then there are those quiet moments when you’d rather do certain activities with a partner than a friend: the TV night, the city trip or cooking together.

How long have you been single: 3 days, 3 months or even 3 years? Minor spoiler: no matter how long you’ve been a bachelor, there is someone out there for you. You just don’t know it yet. Or: you didn’t know the right strategies to find love until now.

Why am I still single?

This can have as many reasons as there are SUVs in big cities. First of all, it could be that you enjoy being single, but then you probably wouldn’t ask this question. Another popular reason is: I don’t have time. But that is true for very few people. Because you always have time for things that are important to you. Most of the time, fear of rejection, past hurts or exaggerated expectations are behind the constant singing. But all these difficulties can be worked on. Under one condition: you should become active.

How do I find a partner? The 8 best tips for love happiness

1. Don’t be desperate in your search

Wait a minute, doesn’t that contradict the active search we were just talking about? No. If you want a partner, you are of course looking for one, whether you like it or not. What I mean is that you don’t seem as if you’re out for a new love at the drop of a hat. Meaning: you think up overly elaborate WhatsApp messages, ask flirts for a second date way too quickly, or even whine about how you’ve been single for so long. All of this comes across as desperate and makes the woman of your desire think she’s just the first victim.

2. Don’t put your ex on a pedestal

Looking back, it’s easy to idealize or demonize the past. Although your ex-partner had quirks, you now compare others to her assets. Or the other way around: she hurt you and now you assume other women act similarly. In both cases, other women don’t stand a chance. Let bygones be bygones, now is the time for something new.

A new love needs a leap of faith

3. Don’t judge yourself “I am incapable of relationships”.

If you’ve been single for a long time, you’ve probably thought this sentence before. But in 99 percent of all cases, it’s wrong. After all, you’ve been in a relationship before. If you go through the world with this belief, you can only fail. But if you think positively and with hope, happiness will surprise you. Who knows: Maybe even the woman at the supermarket checkout in front of you is the right one!

4. Do something good for yourself

Before you can take care of someone else, you should take care of yourself. Allow yourself what you deserve. For example, finally start that sports program you’ve been wanting to start for so long, continue your education, or lose a few pounds. Progress increases your self-confidence and also leads to you walking through the world with your head held high and being seen.

5. Check your claims

She should be athletic, humorous and at least 1.75 meters tall – oh and to the soccer she should please also come and blond would not be bad. With such a booty pattern, women don’t have it easy with you. A partner can never meet all your expectations. For needs that she can not meet, you have buddies or could also take care of before best alone.

Check your expectations: a woman can not meet all expectations

6. Try yourself in online dating

Yes, it takes time and is sometimes exhausting. But for a new job you have to click through job portals, after all. Not to mention the effort of applying for jobs. To improve your chances of success, it is worthwhile to create a profile on such dating portals that ask a lot about your personality. So you can avoid in the best case unpleasant dates in advance. In addition, only people who are looking for something serious will register there.

7. Become more sociable

The love of your life won’t cross your path while you’re watching Netflix on the couch. Consciously practice activities where you meet other people. Learn a new sport, get involved, or take up a new hobby that puts you in touch with others. Not only will this open your horizons, but it will automatically open the door for a potential romantic encounter.

8. Do not give up too quickly

You’re on a second, even a third date, but somehow it doesn’t go smoothly this time? Maybe you even have a disagreement. Just don’t act rashly and throw the woman to the wind. Even in relationships there are disagreements. In the early days, you might put the woman’s behavior too much on the gold scale to check whether you fit together. But everyone makes mistakes, and so do you. Give the matter another chance.

Conclusion: Let yourself be found

You can also make your search for the next great love easier. How? By letting yourself be found. If you hide at home, feeling sorry for yourself and clutching at every straw, you won’t find a woman. Instead, by going through the world with your eyes open, authentic and sociable, you will become visible to women. And in the best case scenario, the best women will approach you on their own.

About the Author

Andrew Scott

ANDREW SCOTT, Founder Mountaineer Country Tours About me In my spare time I test toys and that's why I created this site. If you have any questions feel free to ask and I'll be happy to reply to you by email or in comments.

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